A Canadian Christmas Story
by Trina and Crystal
Summary: Matt and Jeff Hardy travel up to Canada to visit Edge and Christian over Christmas break. Hilarity ensues! Written by Crystal


**A Canadian Christmas Story**

It was Christmas break for the WWE superstars. Several of them went home to celebrate with their families. After celebrating with their families a few went to celebrate with their friends. Matt and Jeff traveled up to Canada to celebrate with their friends Adam and Jay. After exchanging gifts and eating dinner they all sat around the TV. Adam had spiked the egg nog with a little "Christmas spirits". They all had a few too many and were quite drunk.

The all sat there watching A Christmas Story. The movie came to the part where the kid got his tongue stuck to a pole. Matt shook his head.

"That would never work." said Matt pointing at the TV.

Jeff looked outside, then raised an eyebrow.

"Well there is a pole right out in the back yard Matt."

"Yeah Matt, why don't you go out there and prove it wrong." said Jay.

"Go for it Matt." Adam chimed in.

They all got up, grabbed their coats and wandered outside.

As the cold, crisp breeze blew over Matt he was starting to rethink things. They walked up to the pole.

"Here we are Matt." said Jeff.

"It's not going to work guys." replied Matt

"Well if you're so sure Matt, why don't you use your dick instead of your tongue." retorted Jeff.

"You perverts just want to see my cock."

"Awww. . .are you chicken Matt?" said Jay with a smirk.

Adam started clucking like a chicken.

"Yeah come on Matt, prove it wrong." said Jeff pushing him closer to the pole.

"You know Matt, only a pussy doesn't back up what he says." said Adam with a grin.

"Fine!" Matt growled and unzipped his pants, pulling them and his boxers down. Once he had them down, he hesitated looking around.

"Come on Mr. Mattitude." Jay said pushing him into the pole, and his cock stuck instantly.

Matt tried to pull away.

"Ouch!"

They all bust out laughing.

"It wouldn't work huh Matt." Adam said in between fits of laughter.

"You guys, get me off this thing. Come on." said Matt

"Oh! I got an idea." Said Jeff as he walked back towards the house.

Adam and Jay looked at each other and shrugged. They look over at the house waiting for Jeff to reemerge.

Minutes later Jeff emerged from the house with a video camera in hand. As he walked up to Matt his commentary recapped the previous events. He circled Matt filming him at all different angles. Adam and Jay laughed in the back round as they watched Matt's face turn red with anger and embarrassment.

"You see everyone," Jeff continued his commentary as he circled Matt, "This is what the teachings of Mattitude will get you. But a suggestion to all you Mfers out there, don't try this at home."

Jeff, Adam and Jay laughed.

"I can see it now. The newest Matt Fact: Matt has had his dick stuck to a pole." Adam said with a trademark grin and Matt swatted at him.

"It seems folks, that a few of the Mattributes have been eluding dear Matthew on this day." Jeff said.

"Jeff, put that fucking camera down and help me."

"Hey Matt, I really hope you're not worried about shrinkage." said Adam with a laugh.

"Yeah man, the little general probably want to go into retreat." laughed Jay.

Matt growled and reached out trying to grab the camera from him. Matt was getting angrier by the second. Through clenched teeth he spoke.

"Come on guys, help me."

"Um. . .how?" Jay inquired.

Jay looked from Adam to Jeff.

"Hey don't ask me. I'm from North Carolina, it rarely snows there. You're the Canadians, you should know." replied Jeff.

"Guys you gotta do something." said Matt.

"Um. . .maybe we should call dad. Since we have no idea how to get you off that pole." suggested Jeff.

"Fine, just hurry."

They all walked off towards the house Jeff filming all the way to the house. Once inside he handed the camera off to Adam.

"Keep filming him through the window while I call dad."

Adam grinned evilly as his and jay walked over to the window filming Matt. Jeff picked up the phone and dialed their dad's number.

"Jeff look at this." Adam said snickering.

Waiting for his father to pick up the phone Jeff looked out the window and say Adam's dog walking up to Matt. Jeff giggled watching Matt kicking at the dog.

"No. Go away. Bad dog." Matt said trying to get the dog away from him. The dog circled him and stopped. He sniffed his leg, then turned, lifted his leg and peed on Matt's leg. They all busted out laughing again. Just then Jeff's dad picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hey dad, it's Jeff."

"Hi son. What's up?"

"Um. . .I need your help."

"What's the problem Jeff?"

"Well um. . .Matt. . .um. . .his dick is stuck to a pole."

"How in the hell did you boys. . .You know what, I don't even want to know. Just warms it up, it should come right off there."

"Ok dad. . .um thanks."

Gilbert rolled his eyes. Shaking his head he hung up the phone.

Jeff giggled and hung up.

"So what did he say Jeff?" inquired Jay.

"He said we need to warm it up or something."

"How in the hell are we gonna do that?" said Adam looking back at Jeff.

Jeff shrugged, "I dunno. We better get back out there."

"Yeah." Adam and Jay said in unison.

They grabbed their coats and headed back outside. They walked up to Matt.

"What did dad say?" asked Matt.

"He said we had to warm it up."

"How?" inquired Matt.

"Ummm. . . ." said Jeff in thought.

Jay laughed, "Well you could try to piss, that's warm."

Matt bit his lip, and tried to pee, but nothing happened.

"Dude, I can't piss under this pressure."

Adam, Jeff and Jay laughed.

"Oh! I know." said Adam.

"What?" asked Matt.

"Well you could jack off, that's warm." Adam said with a trademark grin.

"No Way! You perverts just want to watch that." steamed Matt.

"Well you want off there don't you? And we'll turn our backs won't we guys?" said Jeff with a grin.

"Yeah Matt we won't watch. And who knows maybe it will work." said Jay snickering.

"Yeah, just try it Matt." said Adam.

Sighing, defeated Matt replied.

"Ok fine. Just turn around." Matt said a blush creeping up his face. He was hoping no one else was around.

They all looked at each other and grinned. They turned around and Jeff put the camera over his shoulder. Adam quickly checked to make sure you could see everything.

"Ok, go ahead Matt." Jeff said suppressing a giggle.

Matt bit his lip, and closed his hand over his cock. He moved his hand fast, not wanting the embarrassment to last too long. He cock was quickly coming to life in his hand despite the cold chill in the air. The friction was causing a delicious heat to coarse through his body. He bit his lip to keep from moaning aloud. Jay leaned over and whispered.

"Man what's taking so long. I know it's cold out here, but damn."

All three men laughed quietly to themselves.

"Geez if it always takes this long I really feel bad for Amy." said Adam snickering.

Jeff just about fell over with laughter.

Matt was unable to hold back any longer and came hard with a loud moan. His hot cum freeing him from the pole.

Jeff heard the moan and giggled.

"Um, Matt did it work?"

Matt cleared his throat.

"Ye. . .Yeah."

Matt quickly composed himself zipping up his pants. His anger was growing again. They all turned around to see Matt glaring at them.

"Ok, that's it, I am never letting any one of you talk me into anything every again. Plus, I am never getting drunk around you guys either. God, I can't believe I let you guys talk me into this."

Adam walked over to him and patted him on the shoulder.

"Don't worry Matt. We're all drunk, we probably won't remember in the morning."

Jeff smirked.

"Yes we will. I got it on tape."

Matt growled and turned stalking towards Jeff.

"Wait till Shane and Shannon see this." Jeff stuck out his tongue and took off running.

"Come back here you little bitch!" Matt hollered chasing after Jeff.

Adam and Jay bend over laughing their asses off. They watched them chase around the yard. Matt tripped and fell into the snow. Jeff hovered over him waving the camera in his face. Adam and Jay fell over into the show laughing uncontrollably as Matt got up and chased after Jeff again.


End file.
